Movie Review

Saw Sarah's Key yesterday, kind of flooded with images from the movie that won't go away, and highly recommending it to all I meet.

One-line blog

The other night I dreamed I was paralyzed from the waist down.

Church #7

June 26, 2011


Today’s church has been on my church list since I moved to this area, and today I am finally attending worship.  I will probably have to re-visit another time when the pastor is in the pulpit; as it was, today my husband happened to be preaching, which is nice because of the conversations we usually have afterward.

So the reason it’s been on my list is that I know it to be a liberal, thoughtful, social-justice-oriented church.  Mainline denomination, but not rigidly so.  Arts oriented.  Partners with other community organizations.  I also have heard that the music director is amazing, with a super blend of old and new, using a variety of instruments, etc., etc. 

I am happy to report I found the church to be welcoming, casual, friendly, familiar-feeling, with  wonderful music (great piano! no choir!).  The sanctuary was full but not crowded.   I heard an older man, a member, after the worship service was over talking with a visiting couple (also older).  The member told the visitors that he lives in (insert a different community here), but that they are pleased to attend this church because “there is so much we agree with that goes on here.”

If my report sounds less than bouncy, I am wondering if maybe the church is a little too “perfect” and familiar-feeling.  My energy level about it is calm and accepting, my interest piqued, my brain tickled.  Is there “too much” agreement?

Church Six

June 5, 2011

Church #6

I chose this church the old-fashioned way – it sits on a corner near my house, so I walked to worship. Another mainline Protestant congregation, with a more friendly and accessible feel to it than the last church. The priest welcomed me with a little chat before the service.

This was an interesting 1-1/4 hours for me, as I only knew one hymn, went to the rail for communion and intincted rather than sipping from the cup (eww!!), and endured another lengthy passing of the peace. (Why do people feel they need to shake hands with everybody in the sanctuary?)

Very special, there was a brief healing/annointing gathering (not noted in the bulletin), where people who wanted healing prayer were invited to come up, people of all ages did so, with varying issues. This was the moment that brought some emotion to me. The priest was very kind and indeed was channeling some sort of healing power to these people as he used the oil to make a cross on their foreheads.

Here is my personal “moment of Zen,” as Jon Stewart would say. Before worship started I began to noodle with a couple of questions I had run across in my journey, as follows: “What do I have to let go of and what is it making room for?” The priest noted this was the Sunday after the Ascension of Jesus, and recreated one of my favorite scenes in the New Testament, where the disciples stand, watching Jesus (or the space where he had gone to), their eyes focused up to the heavens. And the angels appear and say “what are you doing, you have work to do here on earth” (basically). And then the priest went on to talk about letting go. Hmmm…..

I was glad I went. I told my husband when I got home…..I actually felt like a Christian there. He asked, what do you mean by that? I mean….I felt that who I am would be accepted there, with all my doubts and questions and opinions.

I have been thinking that having an impactful experience at a church is not the same as choosing a community. But it is a wonderful thing to walk through.

Church Five

May 22, 2011

Church #5

Today’s church was another mainline Protestant congregation. The pews were full, with a mix of ages. I have been wishing for a more liturgical service, and I GOT IT! The worship bulletin was more like a worship booklet. Pages rustled in unison as the service went on….and on….and on. Yes, it was an hour and a half. The woman sitting next to me in the last pew had an emotional time during one of the prayers. She cried and cried, and had to leave to get more Kleenex. I remembered times when I felt that emotional in a worship service. Not today. I enjoyed singing tunes I was familiar with, but I am sitting here trying to remember the POINT of the sermon. It was about repentance, not as a spiritual discipline a la Lent or Advent, but as a gift from God. “We get small so God can make us large. We get down so God can lift us up.” I found my mind wandering, previewing my routine at the gym planned for later in the afternoon. The whole experience was restrained. The language throughout was completely male. (That has been true for all of the churches I’ve visited so far. I believe I’m ready for an open and affirming experience!) On the plus side, there was a very nice welcome for visitors, parking designated for visitors, and two Obama cars in the parking lot! And the emotional pew-mate invited me to “come anytime!”

Church Four

May 15, 2011

Church #4

Getting to the church was more of an adventure than I’d planned for, what with getting lost, getting there late for the 9 am service, and way early for the 10:45 am service (don’t ask). It didn’t help that we missed the sign that said the services were at 9 and 10:45, partly because there was another sign that said the service was at 10:30. Sigh. My friend visiting from Minnesota came along with me and helped me make sense of the experience.

Turned out to be kind of a fun service, another friendly, glad-handing congregation, lots of music, the sort that gets me tapping my feet but ignoring the words because they are meaningless to me – “oh Jesus Jesus Jesus….” Many more young and middle-aged people in this church than older folks. The only woman on the chancel was a young singer with the band. Only men served communion and took the offering. Coincidence? Or polity?

Yes! We had communion. This church is of the pioneer church lineage, the Disciples, the independent Christian Churches, the non-instrumental Churches of Christ, etc. http://www.caneridge.org/ That part felt familiar to me. The banner on the chancel outlining the plan for each member to evangelize one other person for two years or some such thing (1 for 1 for 2?) – not so much. Here was a long sermon about the second coming. The minister actually said “Heaven is the ultimate vacation,” but I think he just wanted us to think about “preparing” for Heaven the way one would prepare for a vacation. “Get ready.” Since I don’t actually believe there is a place called Heaven where we all see each other and Jesus – it was interesting but not meaningful. My friend said – it wasn’t a sermon, it was a Bible study. Interesting distinction. Here again was another minister that ramped up and bellowed a bit. Yikes!

They wanted us to fill out a “Connection Card,” but we declined politely as we scuttled on out to the car. Scuttling again!

Church Three

May 8, Mother’s Day

Church #3

It had to happen sooner or later. Today I went to a “mega-church,” a massive auditorium-like sanctuary, with two giant screens, the worship service being filmed (live-streamed, maybe?), a street-clothed choir which sang at least 5 songs. This was also a diverse audience (congregation just doesn’t seem like the right noun), age- and race-wise, and it was also diverse up on the chancel (stage?).

As usual for me, I could not tell the difference between the songs (hymns? no they were not hymns), as I always feel Christian music sounds bland and similar from song to song.

I wrote down a lyric – “I will not have shame for you are with me.” I have always felt that “When I have shame, you are with me” makes more sense to me, means more to me. I have never felt that believing in a higher power meant that certain things would not/never happen to me.

An analogy came to me – as teeny-bopper/bubble-gum music is to folk music, as “feel good” is to “think”, that is how this type of service compares to a (to me) more thoughtful, thought-provoking, even doubt-filled worship experience.

The service itself was interesting – no bulletin, no liturgy, just sing sing sing and then offering and a message, and immediately after the message, the doors are flung open and we all scuttle away (well, I scuttled away). The references to the outside world were not to political or geopolitical realities or events, but to poverty and mission efforts (India, building schools, sending a workgroup to Alabama after the tornadoes). The sole abortion reference was in a prayer for peace for those experiencing some kind of suffering.

The pastor is a dynamic preacher, sometimes erupting into almost belligerent sounding thunderous statements and exhortations. I caught a phrase that has worried me all week – or I have worried it – “God needs you to have more than enough so you can help the one who does not have enough.” This bothers me so much, I cannot even adequately explain how the logic bothers me. This statement for me equates to, “God wants some people to not have enough, so you who have more than enough can learn to be generous.” Hmmmm…..so in my head I say, “God wants everybody to have enough.”

Then of course the thought comes to me, how does any of us know what God wants? For sure? And wouldn’t any of our statements about that say more about us than about God?