You're not the boss of me!

Had this conversation with a therapist in a client's apartment, as I was finishing my visit, and the therapist was starting their visit. Just a brief interaction but emblematic of something that happens alot I think for me. Person A (the therapist in this case) comments about something I should do for a client. I do not agree that that is how I should handle this particular situation, but rather than -- basically, stand up for myself -- I hem and haw, am tentative in my reply and my explanation of how I see this particular part of my job. I realized later as I processed this interaction internally that when somebody makes an assumption about how a social worker works, it seriously annoys me to the point where what I'd really like to say is "who the hell do you think you are? you have no idea blah blah blah blah...." so in order to squelch that impulse I go completely limp and do the hem and haw thing.

YUCK!!!

The good part about this is how I then remembered a time when I told a minister (who later became a close friend) what to do next (it was a hospital visit type of situation) and her response, which will always stay with me, was "not necessarily...." That was all. But she marked out her professional territory in such a clear and undefensive way.

I got the message then, and I admire that comment now.

I work in a medical team situation. I would never presume to tell another professional (a nurse?!! a therapist?!!) how to do their job! Dialogue, certainly. Problem-solve, definitely. But actually come out and tell them how/what to do....hmmm.....NEVER!!!

From now on, though, I'm going to remember that phrase....."not necessarily...." It may come in handy the next time I get advice from a therapist on how to be a social worker.