Still unpacking and will be for many moons. Slowly but surely things are getting to their appropriate place, as my kindergarten teacher used to say: a place for everything and everything in its place. Have I said that before? It's like my mantra (husband would laugh at that, thinking of messes I have left around for days and weeks....).
We have an inordinate amount of camping gear, tools, rakes/hoes, sports equipment. I'm thinking three or four bike tire pumps or maybe one is a soccer ball pump. In a box of stuff from one of husband's previous jobs, I found an adorable book his co-workers put together when he left. People can be so creative. They totally got his personality. Just great.
Also ran across all the cards from daughter's grad party a year ago. Started to get verklempt so had to quick find a place to stash them. Throw them away? Are you kidding me?
Tomorrow husband leaves for five days with the kids in Minnesota. I'll be using the three day weekend to work on big projects, like THE TAXES. And probably more unpacking. And sneak in some shopping to get some smaller items crossed off the house list. Love the idea of all this time to focus and accomplish.
The weather has been just awful this week, pretty much no sun at all, except one evening. It really wears on a person. People have been pretty crabby. It's like everybody was just straining to get to the weekend....especially as Monday we're closed.
My plan is to get to my first OA meeting in months tomorrow morning. I'm ready!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
You're not the boss of me!
Had this conversation with a therapist in a client's apartment, as I was finishing my visit, and the therapist was starting their visit. Just a brief interaction but emblematic of something that happens alot I think for me. Person A (the therapist in this case) comments about something I should do for a client. I do not agree that that is how I should handle this particular situation, but rather than -- basically, stand up for myself -- I hem and haw, am tentative in my reply and my explanation of how I see this particular part of my job. I realized later as I processed this interaction internally that when somebody makes an assumption about how a social worker works, it seriously annoys me to the point where what I'd really like to say is "who the hell do you think you are? you have no idea blah blah blah blah...." so in order to squelch that impulse I go completely limp and do the hem and haw thing.
YUCK!!!
The good part about this is how I then remembered a time when I told a minister (who later became a close friend) what to do next (it was a hospital visit type of situation) and her response, which will always stay with me, was "not necessarily...." That was all. But she marked out her professional territory in such a clear and undefensive way.
I got the message then, and I admire that comment now.
I work in a medical team situation. I would never presume to tell another professional (a nurse?!! a therapist?!!) how to do their job! Dialogue, certainly. Problem-solve, definitely. But actually come out and tell them how/what to do....hmmm.....NEVER!!!
From now on, though, I'm going to remember that phrase....."not necessarily...." It may come in handy the next time I get advice from a therapist on how to be a social worker.
YUCK!!!
The good part about this is how I then remembered a time when I told a minister (who later became a close friend) what to do next (it was a hospital visit type of situation) and her response, which will always stay with me, was "not necessarily...." That was all. But she marked out her professional territory in such a clear and undefensive way.
I got the message then, and I admire that comment now.
I work in a medical team situation. I would never presume to tell another professional (a nurse?!! a therapist?!!) how to do their job! Dialogue, certainly. Problem-solve, definitely. But actually come out and tell them how/what to do....hmmm.....NEVER!!!
From now on, though, I'm going to remember that phrase....."not necessarily...." It may come in handy the next time I get advice from a therapist on how to be a social worker.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Work, An Update
Started a new job early February and am just now feeling that I am part of the team. Interestingly enough, I feel that some of that started to happen when I did some work in the medical records office with a non-clinical team (I had no visits to make and had lots of time and they had lots of filing to do). When you joke around and share bits about yourself to a couple of co-workers you never really connect with, the positivity just reverberates, at least it did for me. I felt much better about those folks, so I am hoping/assuming that was true for them about me. My manager has been very supportive and vocal as well about getting the rest of the clinical staff to "use the social worker."
I've always maintained that if you do one thing to make a co-worker's task easier, you are their buddy for the life of the job. This is going to lead me into a rant about customer service, I can just tell!!!
Speaking of customer service......one day a few weeks ago I spent most of my time on the phone with a couple of different bureaucracies -- a large bank in another state, a state government office -- and by the end of the day I was just overwhelmed by how unhelpful people can be. They seem to think they are doing you a favor even answering the phone. At no time did anybody say to me, "let me see how I can help you." It was always about what I needed to do.
If I worked that way with my clients....well, first of all, I would shoot myself....but seriously if I had that kind of attitude.....how unpleasant must it be to be that way!!! How unfortunate the spouses of those people are! The children! The neighbors! Unless.....they are subservient elsewhere, and at the job, on the phone, with customers, they can really let out their inner creep. I don't know, but I can tell you that my spirit was crushed that day, as the recipient of all that negative energy.
I resolve never to be that kind of presence on the phone, for anybody.
I've always maintained that if you do one thing to make a co-worker's task easier, you are their buddy for the life of the job. This is going to lead me into a rant about customer service, I can just tell!!!
Speaking of customer service......one day a few weeks ago I spent most of my time on the phone with a couple of different bureaucracies -- a large bank in another state, a state government office -- and by the end of the day I was just overwhelmed by how unhelpful people can be. They seem to think they are doing you a favor even answering the phone. At no time did anybody say to me, "let me see how I can help you." It was always about what I needed to do.
If I worked that way with my clients....well, first of all, I would shoot myself....but seriously if I had that kind of attitude.....how unpleasant must it be to be that way!!! How unfortunate the spouses of those people are! The children! The neighbors! Unless.....they are subservient elsewhere, and at the job, on the phone, with customers, they can really let out their inner creep. I don't know, but I can tell you that my spirit was crushed that day, as the recipient of all that negative energy.
I resolve never to be that kind of presence on the phone, for anybody.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Day One
I figure if I just start, things may eventually make sense to me. Writing I can do...figuring out who my "team members" are -- now that's a challenge. WHAT??? And what does "monetize" mean? I've heard it's good to use your brain to keep it alive. So I am doing brain exercises here, I guess.
I am a list maker. Here is a list of stuff I've been reflecting on lately.
1. Church. Why?
2. I miss being a mom of pre-college kids, you know, the kind that live with you.
3. I miss Minnesota, and the following: book group, scrapbooking with Becki, et al, women's retreat, going out with my friends, my old OA group on Tuesday nights, my old job and co-workers, the neighborhood, Sherrie, etc., etc.
4. Tacoma is feeling less alien to me lately.
5. Husband and I need to get out more. Importance of fun.
6. OK, that's enough extension time, now get those taxes done and in.
7. I wonder what it would be like to have a blog?
8. Returning to OA -- would be a good thing.
9. Why are movies so darned lousy these days?
10. Who uses the word "darned" anymore???!!!
11. My extended family -- how I will regret it if I do not make more of an effort to be in touch.
12. The past and how present it is for me all the time.
Husband thinks I have/am ADD. I just know that I am always thinking of multiple things/ideas, and I think really really fast and move ahead, like a skipping stone, to new topics/thoughts. I'm sure this is frustrating for him, but it feels normal to me. I guess I thought everybody was like that, but now I know that we each have our own ways of processing and it's OK. OK, dear?
I am a list maker. Here is a list of stuff I've been reflecting on lately.
1. Church. Why?
2. I miss being a mom of pre-college kids, you know, the kind that live with you.
3. I miss Minnesota, and the following: book group, scrapbooking with Becki, et al, women's retreat, going out with my friends, my old OA group on Tuesday nights, my old job and co-workers, the neighborhood, Sherrie, etc., etc.
4. Tacoma is feeling less alien to me lately.
5. Husband and I need to get out more. Importance of fun.
6. OK, that's enough extension time, now get those taxes done and in.
7. I wonder what it would be like to have a blog?
8. Returning to OA -- would be a good thing.
9. Why are movies so darned lousy these days?
10. Who uses the word "darned" anymore???!!!
11. My extended family -- how I will regret it if I do not make more of an effort to be in touch.
12. The past and how present it is for me all the time.
Husband thinks I have/am ADD. I just know that I am always thinking of multiple things/ideas, and I think really really fast and move ahead, like a skipping stone, to new topics/thoughts. I'm sure this is frustrating for him, but it feels normal to me. I guess I thought everybody was like that, but now I know that we each have our own ways of processing and it's OK. OK, dear?
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