Books Are Our Friends

Five years ago we began packing up our possessions to eventually move them from Minnesota to Washington State. Many boxes of books made the journey, some mine, some my husband's, some my daughter's and son's, some boxes strictly business, others blended with classics and Calvin and Hobbes anthologies.

Unpacking occurred and some things just never got situated outside their boxes. These were tucked away in garage nooks and cupboards but have now been brought back out because another chapter is unfolding, a divorce and a resettling of all the possessions.

Since March 2 my new apartment has been the scene of deliberate unpacking and reshuffling, some additional decluttering (yay!), yes even of books.  The other day my soon to be former husband presented me with a box of books he found as he completely rearranged the garage.

It took a couple of days but I did get to it, reacquainting myself with some oldies but goodies (Jo's Boys!), and doing the usual removal of some to the Half Price Books box. A book emerged I dimly remembered buying for the title. It's  a book written by a St Paul teacher/writer. It has the word "impermanent" in the title, which probably was the attraction for me then and certainly is what draws me back to it now.

The thing is, it's been there all this time.  Now I am so ready to read it, well, really, to gobble it up. What a gift from my not so distant past.

Smart girl, buying that book then. Grateful girl, reading that book now!

And the winner is....

What is it about this very seasoned social worker that wants to be better than anybody else at managing emotional stress?  Is there some competition out there that I must win?

The days that do not bring anger and fear are to be appreciated, for sure, because the days that are wrapped in anger and fear are so difficult to accept as part of the process.  Suddenly the awareness sinks in YET AGAIN: this is a tough road and the bad parts are not to be avoided.  Suddenly the nastiness rises to the surface and.....this is the hard part......must be acknowledged and addressed.

Oh yes you do TOO want someone to feel bad.  You are not ALWAYS the forbearing, patient, accepting person who is managing THE BEST DIVORCE EVER.

And yes you must remind yourself over and over about the things you can do to help yourself along.  Make that list of things you enjoy! Try one thing this week you have not been accustomed to doing before...maybe it will turn out great! And then do these things and start making them part of your routine, so that you are always there for yourself on these lousy lousy BAD DAYS.  Because those days arrive and smack you down and only you can feel your way forward and off the floor.